Living Out Loud

Leaving the dark place behind


"Let me take you to a dark place, where you've fallen victim to emotion.
The moment you'll hate to see.
Watching the Sun's light, as it begins to come through window's blind after no sleep.
The visions played over and over again in your mind.
Reliving the scenes and feelings of guilt wrapped only in pain...
Beyond fixing.
And this day shall drag on with lack of sleep and a will to heal a hunger of many questions.
I ask myself, 'Is this what I've become? Is this how my story ends? A coward, a no-show, a subject of humility and to suffer...?”
– Adrian G. Lopez

The past few weeks, the celebrity world has experienced two major stars who took their lives after suffering with depression for years. I was raised like many of you that depression was a choice and one should “pull up your bootstraps and march on,” snap out of it or get off the pity train. There is stigma of loneliness, of asking for help, and even being labeled with mental illness has people hesitant to seek help. But help is exactly what is desperately needed. I still remember hearing the tragic news when beloved actor/comedian Robin Williams committed suicide four years ago. The aftermath has provoked a long-neglected debate about mental health and suicide.
“I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.” - Robin Williams
Sadly, I lost a friend just two weeks ago. She seemed to be one of the happiest people to most but had been battling depression for years and only very few knew of the deep dark thoughts she fought to keep control over. She didn’t want “to bother anyone with her problems,” and the few times she tried to share what she was experiencing, she was told to snap out it and choose to be happy instead of being sad. Well sadly, she choose to end her life instead. She hung herself in her backyard.
I would strongly urge and recommend that if you feel this way, please seek help. Don't suffer in silence. For a long time I kept quiet about my dark place, my depression, believe me, it festers and it gets worse. I urge you to talk to somebody that you feel close to, anyone who you can confide in, a close friend or family member, or contacting the Suicide Hotline (1-800-273-8255), even if just to talk to someone. But please get help, try counselling, try reaching out but please just hold on, you’re worth it. Take little steps, but into the light, and away from the dark place.
I understand about feeling helpless, but if you can do something about it, if you can dare to take a chance that you can step out of the darkness and believe that perhaps maybe this time it might work. It can work. Once you try to make a change or to find a solution to problems in your life, don't give up if the first solution doesn't work. Try something else and if that doesn't work, try something else. Perseverance is the key. So try anything that you can think of, no matter how little you believe that it will work. You’re worth the chance. Life, the world, and the heavens, change every second of every day. Do not give up on who you are, why you are here, and what this life has to offer you but more importantly what you have to offer to this world. You do matter. There is always another step forward, so take it. There is always another second of life to be lived, so live it. Live the life that only you were born to. You’re worth it!