Living Out Loud

No regrets


“It is a big world, full of things that steal your breath and fill your belly with fire...But where you go when you leave isn't as important as where you go when you come home.” - Lindsay Eagar

I left you readers in June while I headed to my small hometown in Arizona less than 100 miles away from the border of Mexico. I think many of us as seasoned adults approach a time in life when you make that cherished journey back to the place where you grew up. It’s the place where you learned to ride your bike without the training wheels, where you had your first kiss, your first heartache and where you learned your first lessons about life.

I discovered I was a stranger to the place I used to know so well. It hurts to feel this way, after wanting to return to a home you thought still existed outside your memories only to find yourself feeling so disconnected. At first, it was great. I received tons of messages from people saying that they were happy that I decided to move back home. I made plans to hang out with as many as I could as I settled in. It’s terrible to have to face the harsh reality that this place I used to call home was no longer that place for me. My heart was no longer happy there and I didn’t belong. I left my life in Texas hoping to recreate a home that was centered around memories and nostalgia from my past. But the problem was the future seemed too lonely for this writer.

Do I regret moving? Nope. I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life wondering “what if?” What others may have feared, I didn’t. So what if I came back, because returning to what was once home was not a failure! Gila Bend, Arizona will always hold a small piece of this ole’ heart and yet that same heart no longer felt at home there. At the end of the day, it isn’t where I came from. Maybe home is somewhere I’m going…

“A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.” - John Barrymore