Hey there folks, hope life’s treating you well, in spite of circumstances.
It’s imperative that we keep our outlook as positive as humanly possible. A good attitude will not only help us weather life’s storms, but also help us focus on and appreciate, the many blessings we’re fortunate enough to have. Isiah 40:31 says that “Those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary.” Remember, God’s still in control, so don’t be afraid to spread those wings and let ’er rip!
June 5 was the two-year anniversary of Eloise’s passing. The word anniversary usually conjures up happy thoughts, not so much in this case. To say it’s been tough would be a gross understatement of epic proportions. Yep, the keyboard’s wet again. Unfortunately, too many of you can absolutely relate.
But, for those who are now going, or will eventually go through this catastrophic trauma, I can tell you with absolute authority that if you’ll keep putting Christ first in your life, you will begin to come out from under those gloomy clouds of despair. While grief is a long, slow, and deeply painful process, God has given us the strength and ability, to not only survive it, but somehow pick ourselves up and walk into the future, to tackle whatever else he has in mind for us. Only a loving God would care enough to do this, and I am sincerely grateful ... thank you Lord!
Looking back on this journey; the first six months felt like a semi-conscious coma. I was going through the motions, but not fully awake, engulfed in severe sadness and despair all day, every day. I clung to God, believing he’d pull me through. The second six months things were a little easier, an occasional break in the clouds. There were many times I felt near the end of my rope, flat out telling God that he’d better bust a move because I just couldn’t take much more, and he did.
Normally within minutes of such desperate ramblings a peaceful calm would come over me, giving me a much needed reprieve. The third six months there was a notable difference. The storm clouds started to dissipate, allowing the “Son” to shine through, giving me a much stronger sense of hope than I had felt in a while. Breathing and getting through the days started to become easier, with moments of occasional joy sneaking back in.
I remember the first time I busted out laughing at a stupid movie, realizing that it was a definite sign of recovery. The last six months has seen a pronounced upswing in general health, happiness, and a sense that things may work out after all. I truly believe that none of this would’ve been possible without Christ. Again, thank you Lord, I couldn’t have made it without you!
Words simply can’t describe how much I miss my best friend. She understood me, had my back, and motivated me to achieve things I wouldn’t have had the courage to even attempt on my own. I miss our long walks, hand-in-hand, smelling the flowers, in awe of what God has done for us. Our lengthy, daily, meaningful conversations about life; the good, the bad and the ugly. All of the constant joking and laughing, even about her hair.
For us, a proven recipe for a fantastic marriage was 1) God first, 2) each other second, and then 3) ourselves. I’m extremely appreciative God allowed me the best 25 years of my life with such an awesome woman.
Remember to develop your relationship with God daily; he’s not a product. On any given Sunday we often hear: hit the lights and cue the band, let “praise and worship” begin. The reality is that we praise because we worship!
Love you guys,